Kiss, Kiss, Kiss, Kiss Me All Day

Watching UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie is like drinking the foam from your root beer, then throwing away the glass.  At best, it’s going to remind you that there’s a “root beer” flavor that you might have enjoyed in the past, but it isn’t going to do any more than jog your memory, slightly, of past root beers.  It certainly isn’t going to satisfy any craving for that flavor.

In its defense, I should note that the show is frequently quite hilarious and that the girls are all pretty.  Also, that “cat girl gun” is flat-out startling.  It’s impossible to dislike the show, at least with any worthwhile intensity.  But there’s just nothing there.  So much nothing, in fact, that I’ve written this based on seeing volumes one and two only; I really don’t have any desire to see volume three, which I don’t have, or the OVA, which I do.   Season Two?  Well, thanks, but I’m full.

Perhaps there’s a Third Volume Notch Kick which moves this series into Awesome Masterpiece territory, but I kind of doubt it.  As it is, the series is like finding a quarter on the sidewalk—pretty nice but nothing worth talking about.  (Which doesn’t seem to have stopped me, though, has it?)

And I can’t be the only one creeped out by Valkyrie’s transformation bit.  In her typical state, she looks like a four-year-old; when she kisses Kazuto, it’s not a “thank you for the dolly, Grampa!” kiss, it’s a “helloooo, sailor!” kiss, and that just seems rather icky.  (The title of this post, by the way, comes from my mishearing of the opening credits song.)

I have seen volume three at one of the local anime dealers.  But it’s almost thirty dollars!   That’s not like finding a quarter in the street—that’s like finding a bill in the street, and it’s your bill, and it’s overdue.  Thirty dollars! 

You know, I can buy a heck of a lot of root beer for thirty dollars.

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4 thoughts on “Kiss, Kiss, Kiss, Kiss Me All Day

  1. This has nothing to do with your post, which is so LIKE me…
    I went shopping today and saw a pair of Wafflo boots by Nike.
    I couldn’t help BUT think of you… I wanted to buy a pair but that L threw me off.

  2. No, there’s nothing special about the third DVD that I recall, except for some truly astounding plot contrivances which transcend mere “deus ex machina” status. Valkyrie continues to be nuts, Kazuto continues to be stupid, Akina continues to be noble, brave, and ignored. I think the only character that really surprised me was Shiro (the white dog-thing that Val keeps pulling the ears of). Watching him pilot a fighter ship was pretty cool.

    That said, the basic charm and the bounciness of the girls has caused me to order yet another DVD from the series. And I’m sure that after I watch it, I’ll curse myself for a sucker yet again, just like I did last time.

  3. It’s not “bad,” per se. But it isn’t “good” either. It just sort of exists.

    It’s like a washing machine made out of toothpicks. You can admire the effort and skill that went into making it, but it’s useless for washing clothes and it just takes up space that a real washing machine might need.

    …that probably doesn’t explain it either, does it? I’m sorry. I have a degree in Fine Arts.

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